Well, Celeste and I just returned from our friends to the South, with Hanz in tow. Luckily the Mexican authorities didn’t want to stir up any trouble, so with a couple of Benjamin’s passed their way they were more than willing to hand over Mopey the Ferret without any questions.
Hanz, however, is slightly traumatized by the event and has been particularly solemn the past couple of days. He just keeps his head hung low, and even the stewardess on the plane couldn’t get him to eat his complementary peanuts. Any reference to “nuts” just pisses him off even further because it reminds him of Mr. Peanut the Squirrel, which has now become his arch nemesis. It even states it on his driver’s license that his arch nemesis is Mr. Peanut. He just has to send in the confirmation, and then they can battle freely in the streets.
I was surprised that the plane ride didn’t make him at least a tad bit happy because how often does Hanz get to wear his flying outfit from his Abercrombie & Fitch days?
Anyhow, the only time he has perked up at all is when the in flight film happened to be “Evolution” starring Hanz’s beloved David Duchovny. I think if he didn’t have David he would be Hanz the Comatose Ferret, instead of Hanz the Mopey Ferret.
Ultimately, he’s decided to stay at our apartment once again. I think his trust for us has been rebuilt since we came and rescued him from Mexico. Also, Malicious Gorilla seems to comfort him. As quiet as Malicious Gorilla is he seems to make Mopey the Ferret feel very at home. I find them cuddling quite often when I get up in the night to head to work.
Hanz head is nestled tightly in Malicious the Gorilla’s forearm as he slowly rocks him to sleep.
I woke up this morning to find Mopey the Ferret and Malicious Gorilla gone! My ’93 Protégé is missing as well, and the only thing to mark that they had even lived here is the large amount of feces in the closet where Malicious resides and a hastily scrawled note that reads, “Gone to Hollywood to meet David. ~Hanz”
Honestly, the only part that surprises me is that Malicious went with Hanz…hopefully they’re all right, but the hell how am I supposed to get to work now?